We make ourselves miserable. Some would be miserable living in Disneyland, the Happiest Place on Earth™. I know this very well, because I used to be one of those people. Powerful, irrational, and illogical ideas stand in the way of your leading an anxiety-free life, one without anger and depression. These points are taken from a remarkable book by Albert Ellis, one of the fathers of cognitive therapy, titled “A New Guide to Rational Living” with the page number where each is found.

Irrational idea No. 1: You must have love or approval from all the people you find significant. If you overwhelm yourself with dire love needs, you will create sufficient woe to last you a lifetime. (page 88)

Irrational idea No. 2: You must prove thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving. The idea that you at least must have competence or talent in some important area. (page 102)

Irrational idea No. 3: When people act obnoxiously and unfairly, you should blame and damn them, and see them as bad, wicked, or rotten individuals.  (page 113)

Irrational idea No. 4:  You have to view things as awful, terrible, horrible, and catastrophic when you get seriously frustrated, treated unfairly or rejected.  (page 124)

Irrational idea No. 5: Emotional misery comes from external pressures and you have little ability to control or change your feelings.  (page 138)

Irrational idea No. 6: If something seems dangerous or fearsome, you must preoccupy yourself with and make yourself anxious about it.  (page 145)

Irrational idea No. 7: It is easier to avoid facing many life difficulties and self-responsibilities than to undertake rewarding forms of self-discipline.  (page 158)

Irrational idea No. 8: Your past remains all-important, and because something once strongly influenced your life, it has to keep determining your feelings and behavior today.  (page 168)

Irrational idea No. 9: People and things should turn out better than they do and that you must view it as awful and horrible if you do not find good solutions to life’s grim realities.  (page 177)

Irrational idea No. 10: You can achieve maximum human happiness by inertia and inaction or by passively and uncommittedly “enjoying yourself.” (page 186)